This also influenced me.

And this. Note these “light side Sith” do not seem to have any of the struggle of “temptation by the dark side” that the Jedi talk about. But like, are without worry of corruption as cunning secretive and ruthless as their “dark side” counterparts. (In other words, they look like they are using what I’d call the dark side but not evil.) In far darker situations. Being surrounded by and apparently answerable to enemies at all times is really trying.

Not paying much attention but I get the impression modern Star Wars fiction has moved on from this kind of accidental background model of how morality intersects with the force that makes more sense.

I mean yes, but that awareness is already sort of, built in? Like you don’t specifically need to be self-aware to do what you want. Theories about your values are also things that you do according to your values.

If you haven’t decided to know what your values are by now, something’s interfering.

I disagree with the version of me who wrote this about the core of my unusual mental tech. I think something else is more fundamental (without becoming too fundamental that the causality is traced to more things not less and eventually out of me into the circumstances creating me), namely my undead type.

Figuring out what a piece of not-entirely analyzed software does that you like exactly and how to do that without that software is like, not a problem I can solve for anyone in full generality. As in, it’s actually difficult work.

If you’re afraid of a particular bad effect of running a piece of software such that you can anticipate where it will show up, maybe just don’t run the software when you expect it’s not gonna do what you want?

Maybe just try and find ways of increasing the bandwidth by which an aesthetic you like can be decomposed without loss of important parts?

Self image here means the mental construct I imagine as a more idealized/aesthetic version of myself. This construct is informed through what aggregate behavior I believe will best satisfy my values channeled into a form based on my aesthetic values. This makes it delicious and valuable for coordinating with my future self and enacting present behaviors which I reflexively endorse, but it is also vulnerable to hacking. For example, [[Galawain|https://pillarsofeternity.gamepedia.com/Book_of_the_Hunt]] is a very compelling aesthetic and narrative image, and as such I folded parts of this into my self image. This is a dangerous move, subject to easy contamination if I’m not careful. However these aesthetics feel incredibly pleasant to insantiate and live out through my behavior even if my enacting them is inconsistent at best. Is there a way to discard this structure of self image in order to directly channel the thing that appreciates the aesthetics of self image? I don’t know what that would even look like, and the thought of discarding this structure feels super icky and scary and like I don’t know what I would hold onto anymore. What other possible form could this take which is less vulnerable to cultural narratives and lets me enjoy the kinds of aesthetic value that I want to enjoy?